Not so great news, a Doctor's Appointment, and General Random Thoughts

On Monday Sam and I walked in the door around 11 or so and soon received a call from JM.  JM had just gotten a phone call that his Grandpa Ben had been diagnosed with cancer.  He didn't know anything more than that and was taking it pretty hard.  Everyone loves their grandparents, but JM's grandparents are very involved with his life and had a major hand in raising him.  JM's been working these crazy and EXTREMELY stressfull hours and really wasn't in the frame of mind to take the news so you can imagine that it hit him pretty hard.  Sam and I loaded back up and headed down to West Union.  I knew that it would be a toss up if we saw him for more than 5 minutes or at all really, but it was worth the gamble.  I reasoned that if he was able to see Sam for even just a little bit it would make him feel better.  I mean, jeez, it had been at least 2 days since he'd seen her (b/c we weren't there) and then the nights before, well you know the story.

Tuesday:  I went on my walk with Sam a little early in the day and stopped by the grain elevator in town to talk with the fellow that work in there.  They own a small tractor that has a tiller on the back and we really really really needed them to till our garden.  Of course, they don't want to take any monetary payment for it so I told them I would bring them by some cookies.  That seemed like a great idea to them!  It wasn't much longer and a guy came over and tilled the garden and MAN does it look great.  It's just like powder!  No more tilling required.  Sam and I decided to run to town and purchase some vegetables and seeds.  Unfortunately we didn't get around to planting them that evening though.  I can't really remember why.

Wednesday:  Sam had her 1 month doctor's appointment with Dr. Ioffe.  She now weights 9lbs 8.6 oz and is 21 1/2 inches long.  Dr. Ioffe said everything was normal!  Before she remembered that I was breastfeeding, she was a little negative about her weight gain but then said that it was normal too.  She said "Breast is BEST".  You, reading this, don't see the humor in it.  However, if you knew how Dr. Ioffe's accent sounds you would giggle too!  She also said not to worry b/c breast milk is a higher fat content. 
We discussed her baby acne which Dr. Ioffe called heat rash, which is what I feel like it is now, but at first I don't believe it was.  At 1st it didn't matter whether she had been rubbing against someone or not but now it is most definitely a heat rash.  The problem is it pops up after she lays against you or snuggles into your neck even for a few minutes.  I guess she's just really sensitive to heat.  Fantastic...bring on an Illinois-100-degree-summer. 
Dr. Ioffe also said that she still thinks the reason for her spitting up through her nose is b/c she's eating too much and she shouldn't be "snacking" during the day - which she does b/c she has this strong instinct to suckle.  When she is mad or upset or tired she wants to nurse but not very long = snacking.  She suggested a pacifier and that is when I let her know that I had purchased all sorts of pacifiers and she refused to use them.  She walked out of the room and came back with Gum Drop pacifiers.  They are really super soft plastic and a straight nipple with a little bit of a bigger tip.  I was sceptical but was going to give it a try. 
Anyone that's been around Sam for any length of time knows that it's pretty obvious when she's trying to "fill her diaper".  Not because of the look on her face but b/c of the sound!!  She also can pass gas better and longer than most adults.  Dr. Ioffe said that it could be b/c my milk is "too good" meanign it has a higher fat content.  Also a factor, is that her digestive system is young and is still trying to properly work.  All infants are different and not to worry.  She also said that tummy time will help her digestion.  I'm not really sure why but hey, we'll try whatever to keep her little belly from hurting.  We also use Mylicon all the time.

That afternoon Sam went down for her normal long afternoon nap.  I turned on the monitors and went out to mow.  Now, I was a little apprehensive about doing it but the yard is a jungle and it's going to rain.  I just kept putting the monitor up to my ear in fear that I wouldn't hear her.  God forbid she'd cry a little bit right? =).  Well, I was coming around the stick pile in the back yard which is home to several rabbits and probably their families and I hear this squeal.  I stopped the mower and looked back b/c I thought I must have hit one.  Then I hear it again and it makes me jump b/c 1) it's coming from somewhere near me and 2) its not a rabbit it's the monitor.  Well I guess that solves the fear of not being able to hear her!  She hadn't been asleep very long, maybe 45 minutes.  That was the end of mowing and anything else productive that day.  She fought sleep the rest of the day and wasn't very pleasant about it.  The pacifier worked part of the time though.  So that was less screaming than what I would have had to deal with normally.  She got to the point where the fail-safe of walking with her on my arm or cradled in my arms didn't work very well.  I had one very tired, very angry, over-stimulated infant.  I did get a little bit of the garden planted though toward the beginning of the crying and screaming marathon.  10 strawberry plants, a package of green beans (3 small rows), a package of lima beans (1 small row), and a small hill of carrots. 

Now for some general thoughts:

I wonder what the thought process is for Sam when she's cuddled in my arms all placid and seemingly happy and then without any whining or warning she starts shrieking?  A lot of time she works her way up to it.  It's like something reached out and bit her!

The phrase:  Mother (or whatever term you want) knows best.  HA ~ HA ~ Ha.   I talk to Sam alot and the other day I was trying to convince her that she didn't need to fuss and it was probably making her stomach hurt.  I then thought of the aforementioned phrase and then I giggled.  I think with the 1st kid, at least, you think or say that phrase as a reassurance to yourself.  I'm the mother and I know what's best.  But in reality you really don't, for the most part.  You're just kind of guessing and doing this game of elimination or trial and error.  You base what you do off of what you've heard your mom or grandmothers or friends talk about or what you've experienced.  And I really doubt it changes from the 1st to the 2nd child b/c the two probably aren't going to be very similar in personality and quirks so what you learned from the first more than likely won't entirely apply to the second.  What a learning curve!

Yesterday Sam was 42 days old.  I then realized that I had only been away from her for less than 10 hours.  1 hourish when JM and I ran to Wal-Mart and Sam was with Mom on Easter weekend and then 3 1/2 hour-ish when Marisa and I went to the play.  Last night I was really feeling that information.  JM actually got home a little after 8:30 and I just handed her off.  I needed a break and a shower.  She was still for awhile but then started fussing again before I even got out of the shower.  JM was holding her on the couch and I told him that he needed to walk with her.  And by fussing I mean crying really hard with some screaming mixed in.  I then said either walk with her or give her to me.  He said she needed to cry it out and I didn't think so.  My philosophy is that if there is something I can do to keep her from screaming I'm going to do it.  Yesterday wasn't a cry it out kind of day for her.  Some days you can do that but yesterday wasn't one of them unfortunately.

I have a week and 1/2 left of maternity leave.  YIKES.  If I win the lottery I'm going to quit my job.  Since I don't play the lottery there is a slim possibility of this happening.

Golden Retrievers are the hairiest animal EVER.  EVER.  One more time... EVER.  It's shedding season and I hate it.  HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE it.

There were more but I can't remember them.

Oh yea, here's one.  I have LOST my mind.  Really, I have.  It's amazing.  I really can't even give a "for instance" but believe me it's gone.  A lot of times I can't recall a person's name that I really should know.  I've lost a chunk of my vocabulary b/c I'll be talking and have to actually stop and try to think of the word I'm looking for b/c I can't even think of a substitute for it.  I go to town to run a few errands and forget to do one or forget half my grocery list where before I didn't even NEED one.  I can't imagine what it's going to be like going back to school.....