The Birth of Baby Ben

I wasn't due until June 4th but the entire last two months of school I was hearing "Girl you are NOT going to make it to the 4th".  Some teachers didn't even have me finishing out the school year.  I would just laugh.  i naively talked to my friends on and on about how I didn't feel any bigger this time around.  I think I based it on how tight my clothes were?  I have no idea but I definitely had NO CLUE what I was talking about.  God Bless my 3 closest friends b/c they just let me go.  Not once did any one of those precious women say "Lady, you have some MAJOR issues!". =)

I felt great.  I was having some problems with the muscles on the inside of my leg and of course sleeping was a little "obnoxious" but nothing more than what I had expected.  My heart burn was horrible but I popped that medicine like tick-tacks and it really became a non-issue.

The school year closed on Friday May 18th.  I thought to myself I have TWO weeks to get myself ready.  I think I was procrastinating a little bit towards the end of the school year.  That and I was EXHAUSTED.  I was falling asleep with Samee or even dozing before she went to bed.  I had no energy to come home and do baby prep and I knew I had TWO weeks after school was out.  So I had planned to do all the running around that first week.  Samee and I went to playgroup a few times and did some last minute shopping.  I concentrated on having Samee and Momma time b/c I knew we were close to not having that so much anymore.  That Wednesday I was a little crampy but no big deal; just what I would expect for being close out.  Thursday I had an OB appointment with Dr. Benson.  He said I was 3cm and I think 80-90% effaced.  WAY more than I was two weeks before Samee.  I asked who was on call that weekend  (somewhat jokingly) and he said he was on call ALL weekend.  My heart sank.  He was the last one out of the three I wanted for delivery.  He delivered Samee and let's just say I was something short of impressed of his demeanor in the delivery room.  As we were walking out of the exam room and I said "Hope I don't see you this weekend!" to which he just laughed.  uh-oh.
Friday I was really crampy and was having more than just little pre-contractions.  They were sketchy.  Just when they would become consistent they would stop or lengthen out.  I also thought at one point I might be leaking fluid.  I called him just to check and see what his thoughts were.  He dismissed them.  That night contractions had stopped and Saturday morning I had none and even felt great.  Before I was feeling a little nauseous.  We decided to run down to my parent's for the day b/c the Sons of the American Legion was doing their Ste. Marie style-chicken.  SO YUMMY.    We had a great day and I didn't really haven any contractions.
On Sunday my Grandma and Grandpa Keach came up for a short visit.  Grandma made the comment that she didn't think I was going to last much longer.  I felt great that day too.  I had pretty much dismissed the idea of having a baby that weekend.  I didn't have any of the tell-tale signs; nauseous, restless, etc.  On Monday we spend the day outside.  Putting out mulch, being in the pool, planting a few things int eh garden and putting up fence.  Around 6 or so  I noticed some pretty decent contractions but didn't think much of it.  Soon enough they were a consistent 15 minutes apart and had been like that for about an hour.  I then mentioned it to JM and wondered if maybe I should have his dad come and pick up Samee just in case.  I was pretty wish-washy about it.  JM was pretty firm on Samee spending the night with his main point being that we are 45 minutes away from the hospital and Jim lives 20-30 minutes from us.  I relented and called Jim and Marcy to come pick up Samee.  She of course was excited to go play with Papaw Jim!
After Jim came and got her I told JM I was going to go take a shower as I was pretty confident by this point that we were probably going to have a baby.  The contractions were getting closer together ... like 12 minutes or so apart.  By the time I took a shower (JM might have too) and we got everything in the car, I think it was around 7.

Hospital:
We called and told them we were on the way so the staff was waiting on us when we arrived.  We had to be observed for a little bit before we were officially admitted even though I was already gowned and plugged into monitors.  Well, as soon as we got there the contractions had almost weakened out even though prior to that they were 8 minutes apart when we pulled into the parking lot.  After called Doc. Benson we were instructed to WALK for the next hour with the idea that that would kick start the contractions again.  Doc didn't really want to send us home since we live so far away.  We walked in a U-Shape for an hour.  JM made a game out of hitting the sand sanitizer dispensers.  I think at some point we got pretty goofy b/c it was probably around 9 or so.  We had been in contact with my parents but I had told them not to come yet b/c who knows if they were going to keep us.  I'm not sure at what point mom decided to make them all come but come they did! =) They weren't there for the walking part though.  Too bad b/c I walked with Dad with his heart surgery, I'm sure he would have loved to walk in a U share with a big pregnant lady.  By the end of the hour, the contractions had ramped up decent and were getting a little painful.

Admitted - Finally
Once we were set up in our room Doc came and broke my water to get things moving.  I don't really know what time it was at this point. Late, no matter how you look at it.  The water breaking thing is gross.  Really the only part of labor that I think is gross.  I can handle all the blood and gore, but the water breaking process - yuck.

Laboring proceeded along pretty well.  I had discussed with the 2 nurses when I was admitted my plan for pain "management".  I want drugs and just want to follow the normal steps as the pain progresses b/c if I can get away with less drugs then great.  If not - GIVE THEM.  I don't think one of the nurses got the idea though.  I had already had the IV version of the pain meds.  The one that makes your body feel really goofy and of course just like with Samee it worked for a very short amount of time.  This older nurse had mom rubbing the bottom part of my belly when contractions hit.  She was even nice enough to do it for mom to demonstrate while I was having a few contractions.  I do remember her hands being very very very soft (lol) but what I remember MORE was her saying "Don't fight the pain, just let it be, don't fight it."  I'm not sure what she considers fighting the pain and I"m not sure what I was doing to fight the pain other then to remember to breather and try to live. "just let it be....dont' fight it".  I WANT whatever you're on lady!  So before this had all really ramped up to that intenseness I had said I'm not really at the epidural point but since its very very very early in the a.m. you'd better be making a phone call b/c I KNOW it will take 30 minutes for that person to get here...at least.  Well then the Broad wanted to talk me into the epidural version that only lasts for like 4 hours (I think - I don't know what it was b/c it all sounded like a bad idea). I remember saying, probably more like gasping: I'm ok with the full fledged epidural. If it lasts for four hours, this baby will come at four hours and 15 minutes.  So after having to fight through some pretty intense pain in which I was tearing off my gown trying to get to the bottom side of my ginormous belly to RUB THE PAIN OUT (ha...haha....ha) listening to mom and jm say "breathe mallory"....seeing that little bit of fear in my husband's eyes.  You know, the one that says what has this baby morphed my wife into.  The wonderful epidural guy comes in.  He's older so I'm thinking ok, he's experienced this should be no problem.  I'm in a better frame of mind and I think in more control of my body at this point than I was with Samee.  This process should be a breeze.  I assume the position and he sticks me and I yelp - maybe scream, I don't remember.  This continues for a little bit.  He walks more into my peripheral vision and looks a little distressed.  I silently scream the F-work in my head... probably with a Oh, hello no in front of it.  I then hear him say I'm going to try one more time but with a smaller needle (maybe - i don't know something different) this time, but you act as if you are in extreme pain every time I go in.  I'm afraid this isn't going to work.  Instead of living in panic mode (which i did for 3 seconds) I decided I was going to squint my eyes, squeeze the pillow, and clamp my jaw down so tight that I won't be able to moan when the needle goes in b/c I'm not sure that I can go on without some sort of help.   It hurt, bad..enough said.  But it went in and I mentally kissed Jesus's feet.
I'm sure some of it is mind over matter, but at that point I knew life was good. I could do this without it being a big deal. I knew better this time.  I knew that I should sleep so I did.

Enter: the best nurse in the world. I now cannot tell you her name but my mom probably remembers.  I might have wrote it down somewhere.  This nurse practically delivered Ben. I remember her making the comment that the epidural that wasn't going in was the one that only lasted 4 hours.  And I vaguely remember in the whole process her standing up and saying she wants the longer one anyway let's try it.  God Bless This Woman.
In the room was JM with one foot, Mom with the other, and the nurse in delivery zone.  She was with us the whole time.  She was extremely experienced and only worked on the weekends doing what she LOVED.  God Bless This Woman.  At one point as she's "checking" me and doing some massaging/stretching she asked me "How big did Doc say Baby was going to be".  I shrugged and said well at one point he measured 2 weeks ahead but then evened out...so average.  She kind of laughed and said "momma he's got a biiigg head".  I turned to JM and said "I"m going to say this now while I'm in a good mood and feel good "I hate you"".  We all got a good chuckle.

The machines were saying that I was having really good contractions so she told me I could push if I needed too. I told her I didn't feel anything and she said ok, no problem.  But if you want to you can.  I was like WHOA.... If you tell me when to push according to that machine I'll push.  Let's get this little BIG guy down as far as we can before the epidural doesn't really work anymore.  So push away we did.  We made GREAT progress.  And then I just kept pushing and pushing and pushing and I could tell there was an issue. At some point in there, I remember the Nurse from Heaven saying hun tell me whenever you get really tired b/c I don't want you to be exhausted when it comes time for the last pushes.  We'll do the episiotomy (spelled write/wrong?) to help out. I was like I'm there. I'm exhausted. I was a little panicked b/c I didn't have much left already.  Well inbetween that short conversation and this next phase a lot of things changed.  Baby Ben was STUCK.   He was coming out facing the ceiling instead of facing the ground AND we was stuck.  At this point it all hurt to bad to even mentally curse.  It hurt...bad.  And I could see concern on everyone's face - GREEEAATTT.  I then asked why aren't we doing the episiotomy to which I then discovered that his head was pushing blood through my tissues ahead of him and I was basically swelling or engorged from the inside out.  If they would cut to help his GIGANTIC head come out I would bleed and bleed a lot. I'm kind of feeling a little hopeless at this point b/c I know I've got a long way to push.  As I keep seeing the concern on her face and other nurses have now joined the "party" and they look a little concerned too I'm already mentally going "you are NOT wheeling me down the hallway.  We have already tore up a bunch of stuff here and my back is going to hurt for DAYS from the epidural. No, no no".
Pushing, pushing, pushing.  The nurse then tells me to make fists with my hands and then put them under each hip to help with the angle.  I'm not sure if that did it or God took pity but I remember a little bit after that feeling Ben twist a little and rush forward/out/whatever.  Then nurse going "Hit the call button Jim hit the call button".  JM is then floundering for the call button which is on the inside rail of the bed, which he has no clue b/c he's not laying in the bed.  Finally between him and Mom frantically hitting buttons this pleasant voice over the speaker goes "How can I help you?"  Nurse from Heaven yells "I need everyone in here NOW.  GET THE DOCTOR".
Nurses are flying all around the room, Nurse from Heaven is literally holding Baby Ben in, and Doc. comes flying in the room and I hear the water.  Nurse from Heaven yells "Doc- YOU dont' have TIME!".  Paper and plastic is fluttering and shuffling, drawers are opening and banging around and carts are being zoomed in from all over the place. I see Doc put one gown on and try to reach for another to double up and the Nurse shakes her head and doesn't give it to him and goes "you. don't. have. time".

Enter the Doc.  "Oh!".  I'm not really sure that I even pushed when Nurse from Heaven took her hand away. I could be wrong but I was elated at how much less pressure there was after he twisted his shoulders and came rushing out.

Doc. B. caught Baby Ben and JM cut the cord at 8:38 on May 28th.  Baby Ben was flopped up on my chest and was a beautiful crying little boy. I kissed him and then they took him over to get a little cleaned up and weighed.  I remember the nurses laughing with JM and Mom about how he weighted 8 pounds and 14.9 ounces and that they "round up around here".  The nurse was laughing about how cramped he must have been b/c she couldn't get him to stretch out far enough to give him a good length measurement so 20.5 is what they went with.  Everyone was squealing about his long toes and feed and just about how big he was.

When he was wrapped up and handed to me his poor little face was all bruised up from being stuck and his rough entry into the world.  His faced stayed purple for so long that they had to keep his blanket unwrapped over his chest so they could check his skin color during their checks.  Normally then just touch the baby's face for the color test but Ben was so purple they had to look at his chest.  They had to go in search for a bigger stocking cap b/c Ben's head was so big the newborn ones didn't fit!  And the knitted one they did have didn't really even cover his ears!  

That evening several friends came to visit. It was wonderful.

I was extremely swollen and I guess there was a little discussion right after delivery as to whether I would need to stay longer b/c of all the "trauma".  Luckily I didn't.  My tailbone though was in terrible shape.  It was so bad that even by the next morning I couldn't sit up in bed. I had to be at an angle to take the pressure off. I had extra pillows under me and on the sides so I could prop myself up on my side.  I thought for sure Ben broke it on the way down.  Samee probably fractured it on her entry into the work as she came out looking at the ceiling instead of the floor too.  But Ben, I thought, had done me in.  Fortunately, it got better pretty quick.


RECOVERY:

I did too much too soon.  But Samee had speech to go to and Ben had his appointment, which went great.  I also had a two year old to chase around and make sure felt just as loved.  Luckily JM was able to take a full week off to be with us and took a few days off here and there to spend with us after that.  Everyone adjusted VERY well and Samee has yet to go into the regression stage and show any ill will what-so-ever towards Baby Ben.  Baby Ben fits in perfect in our family, just as he was meant to be!